How To Be A Proper Ginger

Video

Sat, 23 Jun 2018 17:52:56 -0400

thottweiler: quickweaves: holy shit PLEASE

Tue, 29 May 2018 14:36:58 -0400

thottweiler:

quickweaves:

holy shit

PLEASE

SIGNAL BOOST!!!!!!!!

Sat, 26 May 2018 18:10:55 -0400

kaligay:

dirkjake:

transmutes:

ladymarvels:

Okay that virus that’s going around, is seriously fucking scary. I got the same thing on my computer about a week ago and I got rid of it, but it took a lot. This type of virus can control your browser, it can control your webcam, it can control all your files, and track you.

If you’ve seen the post already, do not click on the user if someone like this follows you.

If you do on accident, you will be taken to an FBI site, which tells you you’ve viewed pornography and stuff. Looks a little like this…

It asks you to pay a fine. ITS NOT REAL. DO NOT PAY IT. You won’t be able to leave the page, or close your browser. Your computer is probably infected now, and you need to remove it.

Click ctrl-alt-delete at the same time and open task manager. Shut down your browser. Uninstall it completely.

Reset your computer to the last known date when you didn’t have the virus.

Install and Run malawarebytes. It’s a free service, that get’s rid of all bugs in your computer. The download link is here. Most antivirus softwares can’t detect things like this, so your best bet is to just download it. Run a full scan to ensure your computer is clean.

Restart your computer, and you should be fine.

The main thing here is to not panic. I did, and it just makes the situation worse than it really is.

If you have seen a post about it, you’ll see that icon, and a URL with random letters. Please don’t risk it, you’ll have to work really hard to get it off your computer. Be careful, and DO NOT PANIC. Here is another tutorial on how to get rid of it,

Any more questions? Feel free to ask me. I got this off two of our computers, so it’s possible. BE SAFE

here is a link to a tutorial for how to remove this if you are on a Mac

THIS IS NOT A DRILL. I somehow clicked on one of these things the other day and wowie was I in for a world of hell. Thankfully I got it under control and my I’m a-ok now but you REALLY DONT WANT TO GET THIS SHIT ON YOUR COMPUTER.

Mobile users stay cautious too.

my-name-is-really-neil-mcneil: delete this

Sun, 20 May 2018 05:06:48 -0400

my-name-is-really-neil-mcneil:

delete this

my-little-ninja: dicktator-cain: my-little-ninja: shitposting...

Thu, 29 Mar 2018 17:05:22 -0400

my-little-ninja:

dicktator-cain:

my-little-ninja:

shitpostingintenseifies:

my-little-ninja:

dokis-for-days:

Even the language barrier doesn’t stop me from knowing the chat is both laughing at him and saying “NOOOOO” at the same time.

is that twelve and a half hours on a timer or is it Noon/Midnight on a clock?

That is

12 hours

Oh god

Yep, that’s twelve hours of progress lost. And you can see the exact moment his soul is screaming.

The sheer anguish is painful to look upon

softmushie: aquascribbles: cartooncommubackup: dooojojojo: knowledgemimic: breathingcolorsdraws...

Mon, 08 Jan 2018 10:58:57 -0500

softmushie:

aquascribbles:

cartooncommubackup:

dooojojojo:

knowledgemimic:

breathingcolorsdraws:

knowledgemimic:

saucy-majora:

bubblegum-gg:

i-srsly-need-to-stop:

fandombandomrandom42:

geekylilprincess:

wraparoundcurl:

barkers15:

bittythemagpiedragon:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

evilblackcat13:

the-last-teabender:

wildishmazz:

devonmcs:

cate-geo:

ryrobsessed:

roses-in-fire:

cm8x-insanity:

nukewolf:

sirdragneel:

artfulaveryhofferd:

fairylightshowell:

oliviasblogisawesome:

strampunch:

fairytail-angel:

verityglasses:

combthecombel:

pokemon-chick-1personalblog:

strampunch:

mobians-and-emeralds:

coffeeandcursewords:

rootbeersweetheart:

usedtobehmc:

jamesbleach:

onceuponakhaleesi:

luckydreaming:

Are fedoras really that bad?

YES YES THEY ARE

voidethered:

ask-omnipony:

I don’t really believe this mumbo jumbo

I mean it’s a goddamn hat.

Right..?

The white rose, it symbolizes the unique beauty of all the women who wish not to be with a nice guy such as myse-

I wonder if this works with other kinds of hat…

Nothing ventured, nothing gained…

WHEEEN THE MOON HITS YOUR EYE LIKE A BIG PIZZA PIE THAT’S AMORREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Men of Tumblr are my favorite kind of people…

wait, does that mean?

oh boy…….

Luckily, this nonsense doesn’t work on girls.

Observe…

IT’S GOTTEN BETTER!

This post is immaculate

It can’t be true.

And it can’t possibly work on motorcycle helmets.

I must test it.

Nothing happening so far…

HOLY SHIT IT WORKS

What in the world?

Oh why not? This should be interesting.

Here we go!

Were all mad here in Underland!

What the hell! Never Again!

… Actually …

One more time.

Alright, I gotta try this!

Can’t be that bad!

….

…oh my god…

ask-gmodsfmrocks:

LOL

This just gets better and better

This is one of my favourite things to look at

holy shit this stuff is back

The Gravity Falls one though

i wonder if it works for flower crowns?

here goes nothin-

w HAT THE

DID I JUST-

WHAT THE FUCK

Okay Clearly something is up.

Hmm… I wonder

I’m sure nothing could possibly…

HOLY SHIT

IT GOT BETTER

I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING SO LONG FOR THIS POST OH MY GOD!!!

I wonder what happens when you wear 8 of these at once…

Never not reblog

IT’S ON MY DASH. ACTUALLY ON MY DASH.

Oh my God, there are so many new ones

Friggin, yis

Always reblog.

IT HAS EVOLVED

The legend marches on…

BEWARE THE MAGIC OF HATS

JDNXHSBSBF

I T ‘ S B A C K

a classic meme from when the world was less of a tire fire

ITS ON MY BLOG YESSSS

THIS IS WONDERFUL.

time to bring back outdated memes…

what could possibly go wrong?

eww, it smells like fuckboi

welp, down this rabbit hole we go…

nothing’s happeni-

WTF-

Oh boy, this meme

I wonder if this would work with a wolf hat.

May as well try it.

Please don’t be awful, please don’t be awful, please don’t b-

get wet 4 furry

This is obviously fake

Look, I’ll prove it

Y’all are just acting

Watch and learn

WTFFFFFF

Should…… should I…….

DO IT!

Whelp guess I gotta put on the hat now

Can’t be that bad, I mean what’s the worst a squid hat can do to m-

I̖̝̪̤̠̋͞ ̛̹̱̮̳̭̓̂͑ͫ͐̎ͯ͗͝͡H͇̠͊́̚A̛̓̓҉͙̠V͍̌̏͂ͣͨͭͧ̉́E̸͙̭̣͓̓ͨͥ̿ ̽͗͗ͮ͊ͬͩͥ̚҉̪̗̝̘̟́̕A̴̴̙̝̬̪̞͂ͤͩ̍W͚̣͆ͬỎ̫̝̟͖̝͇ͥ͛ͮ͋K̨̖͓͉̺̫͉̀͗ͪ̊͌̉E͚̲̩̪̘̠͋̈͞N͉͓͕̗̱͒̔ͨͤ͛̓̂ͧ

Holy shit this is getting so freaking better than I thought XD

CASH MONEY

THE FLOWER CROWN

I FINALLY FOUND IT I CANT BREATHE

THROUGH A RAPIST’S EYES” (PLS TAKE TIME TO READ THIS. It may save a life, It may save your life.)

Sat, 06 Jan 2018 16:03:25 -0500

onedayillbethin:

skeletonnthinn:

ptxgirl10101:

i-would-like-to-like-me:

chubbybiebz:

markiplier-is-rad:

angelofthelord221bigbluebox:

xphantasia:

deadgirldancing21:

brittanymichael:

echolessvoid:

An Article from Neena Susan Thomas

“Through a rapist’s eyes. A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interview…ed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braid, or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.

2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who’s clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.

3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.

4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is grocery store parking lots.

5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.

6] Number three is public restrooms.

7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don’t have to worry about getting caught.

8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn’t worth it because it will be time-consuming.

9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas,or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.

10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you’re not worth it.

POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER:

1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: can’t believe it is so cold out here, we’re in for a bad winter. Now that you’ve seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up, you lose appeal as a target.

2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they’d leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

4] If someone grabs you, you can’t beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the upper inner thigh – HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.

5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy’s parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you’ll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he’s out of there.

6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.

7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don’t dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel little silly at the time, but you’d feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

FINALLY, PLEASE REMEMBER THESE AS WELL ….

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it.

2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans : if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you…. chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won’t see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON’T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side,put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE the DOORS , LEAVE.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:

a. Be aware: look around your car as someone may be hiding at the passenger side , peek into your car, inside the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. ( DO THIS TOO BEFORE RIDING A TAXI CAB) .

b. If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

c. Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked “for help” into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it’s better safe than sorry.

If u have compassion reblog this post.
‘Helping hands are better than Praying Lips’ – give us your helping hand.

REBLOG THIS AND LET EVERY GIRL KNOW
AT LEAST PEOPLE WILL KNOW WHATS GOING ON IN THIS WORLD.
So please reblog this….Your one reblog can Help to spread this information.

THIS COULD ACTUALLY SAVE A LIFE.”

EVERYONE BOOT THE FUCK OUT OF THIS

This is so fucking unfortunate that we need this

it just makes me angry that women need this.. but we do and if you see this, PLEASE REBLOG. it doesn’t matter if you are a male or a female. by reblogging this, you might save someone’s life.

Don’t scroll past this, it’s so important

nothing to do with what my posts are normally about but this is SO damn important!! don’t scroll past without reading and / or reblogging!

this is fucking important. Idc if your blog is perfect, fucking reblog this. It may save someone.

🎵

sorry if i reblog this everY FIVE MINUTES

Important

No worries if this post doesn’t fit your aesthetic or theme, this is important information. You could save not just a physical woman’s life but you can ALSO prevent things like PTSD that a woman would acquire from an attack if left alive

The rare book library at Yale University has no windows..because the walls are made of translucent marble.

Wed, 15 Nov 2017 01:58:09 -0500

shadow-daughter:

systlin:

youcantseebutimmakingaface:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

attack-on-sarcasm:

crookedwiings:

cloudfreed:

bbcbecausebenedictcumberbatch:

did-you-kno:

Source

*Heavy breathing*

because direct unfiltered sunlight may damage the older books and age them more quickly :)

*EXTREME HEAVY BREATHING*

I WANT TO GO!!

PUT ME IN THE BOOK CUBE

HHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

……I’ll be in my bunk

…*whines* I wanna be there…

gettingstonedinmybasement: gettingstonedinmybasement: sorry but literally nothing will be funnier...

Tue, 14 Nov 2017 06:10:18 -0500

gettingstonedinmybasement:

gettingstonedinmybasement:

sorry but literally nothing will be funnier than john mulaney’s delta airlines sketch

in case you haven’t seen it

stallingdemons: bizzle-my-bieber: tateanaau: bishwhaaapapij: ...

Fri, 01 Sep 2017 11:28:08 -0400

stallingdemons:

bizzle-my-bieber:

tateanaau:

bishwhaaapapij:

kingomd:

suckmymichaelconda:

Honestly the most important video I’ve ever seen…

this should be on everyones blog

NEVER EVER LET THIS HAPPEN TO ANY ONE WOMEN OR MEN NOBODY DESERVES THIS.

important shit

This needs to be Reblogged by everyone 🙌🏽

REBLOG THIS.

HOLY SHIT, NEVER STOP REBLOGGING THIS.

shitYa’ll i have problem, cause i fucking love to curse. My mama says i swear as bad as a port...

Wed, 30 Aug 2017 10:41:31 -0400

shitYa’ll i have problem, cause i fucking love to curse. My mama says i swear as bad as a port worker (in Denmark they are known for cursing so bad that even Lucifer would be embarrassed) so you know i tried stopping to curse, but that shit is hard as shit. so i tried to alternate how i would say them like:

- Fuck=fluff, this worked also as fucking= fluffing and so on

-Pik (which means dick so now ya’ll know)=pickles

- Shit= shit zu (y’know shih zu as in the dog

-Fucking hell= underground paradise

- Shut up= kindly close your mouth hole

-Fuck off= go to heaven

and honestly i can’t remember the rest because theres so fucking many, but after a month of that i gave that shit up and went back to swearing and it’s amazing, except i work at restaurant doing the dishes and his children at the age of 5-11? are running around when we work. So one day i dropped a huge ass pot and not as calmly said pretty loud “fuck this fucking stupid ass pot should just go die in a shithole” realizing my huge ass mistake i just look over to see the kitchen staff trying to contain their laughter and luckily the kids were no where to be found.

They still talk about it to this day, and my boss ended up not finding out

STAY FUNKY DISCO DUCK, NEVER LET ANYONE STOP YOU!!

Wed, 30 Aug 2017 10:21:22 -0400

STAY FUNKY DISCO DUCK, NEVER LET ANYONE STOP YOU!!

healingdoesntcomequickly: nerapalooza: micdotcom: Watch: The...

Wed, 30 Aug 2017 09:06:17 -0400

healingdoesntcomequickly:

nerapalooza:

micdotcom:

Watch: The most wonderful moment of joy came when he entered a Nazi guard bungalow.

We are the last generation who can hear from these survivors directly. Do not take that lightly. Do not waste that opportunity. Do not forget your freedom isn’t infinitely guarenteed. And do not, do not, let it happen again.

Really truly, watch the video, reblog it. Teaching about the holocaust is so necessary for our generation before it slips under the rug and people forget about it.

free-traveler-fans: Cute Cat Items Picks Sweatshirt //...

Wed, 30 Aug 2017 09:00:10 -0400

free-traveler-fans:

Cute Cat Items Picks

Sweatshirt // Hoodie

Coat // Sweatshirt

Cap // Coat

Sweatshirt // Sweatshirt

Coat // Hoodie

Do you like them?

Don’t forget to tag the cat lovers around you！

6qubed: crystalsoulslayer: alphahoennomega: klubbhead: electr...

Fri, 11 Aug 2017 06:29:48 -0400

6qubed:

crystalsoulslayer:

alphahoennomega:

klubbhead:

electricbreeze:

Schrödinger’s boys

FUCK

What about cracking open a cold milkshake

As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do. All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison.

mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town

papajohnpizzas: me and my friend evan made this video back in...

Wed, 09 Aug 2017 02:02:19 -0400

papajohnpizzas:

me and my friend evan made this video back in march after finding a brick abandoned outside of the safeway by our school and we got our friend richard to write a whole article about it in our school newspaper

Let's make Dean in gym shorts the most reblogged picture on Tumblr.

Tue, 11 Jul 2017 10:27:25 -0400

did-they-really-just-die-again:

deanwinchesterforpromqueen:

handsome-mosquito:

tree-of-blue-squirrel:

deanfudgingwinchester79:

keepingcalmisoverratedgoddamnit:

dont-dropp:

thecobaltbluetie:

arvit:

mc-winchester-on-a-unicorn:

winchester11:

p-sumea:

mysongsknowwhatyoudidthere:

milky-elizabethe-brew:

carryonmycryingheart:

carryonmycryingheart:

supernaturallyfantastic:

queensofbadassery:

manawhaat:

cumberbabe-mishamigo:

whatwazthat-huh:

thefangirlbusinesss:

casttiieell:

hooked-by-the-perfect-hunter:

lovewalkingdeaddistrict4:

mooselover10:

queen-of-the-rising-demons:

livesmileride:

minecrafter98:

loki-ate-the-pie:

noturtlespond:

hypnoticcastiel:

ohcastielmycastiel:

supernaturalsoul:

two-winchesters-and-castiel:

highly-functioning-otter:

crazy-jensenackles-fangirl:

everydayiamcumberbatchin:

thewinchesterswagger:

itsjustjensen:

thewinchesterswagger:

“Challenge accepted!” —SPN fandom.

omg this is still going

IT’S A RULE TO REBLOG EVERY TIME IT SHOWS UP ON YOUR DASH.

Third time reblogging it today, and I regret nothing

Broke 5 Million!

WE HAVE TO KEEP GOING

why have i never added my AU-version…

woah

woah

Let us hit a billion

ITS NOT BROKEN YET

I wonder if Jensen knows about this. Come on guys let’s get this to 16m and then a billion! let’s break tumblr!

Reblog til the day I die

*POUNDS REBLOG BUTTON*

Forever reblogging

*reblogs whenever this pops up on dash*

REBLOG till the end of time and space!

Pop

its back

Hey look, it’s back again.

i can’t believe it’s still going

Never not reblog that!

LET’S HIT A BILLION!

This is a forever re-blog

It’s back again

*reblogs every time it shows up on my dash*

I reblogged this two minutes ago…

But….

Well, he did there so…

I already reblogged this this morning but there’s new stuff in the comments.

Everytime this shows up on my dash I reblog it. NEVER REGRETTED IT ONCE

Me every time I see this post again

I’m so glad this thing still exists

it’s back again

this post is legendary

this post is our legacy

I just found it and I’m dying omg

teamnowalls: nesija: ouijubell: hoeism-intervention: milpool-...

Tue, 11 Jul 2017 06:03:04 -0400

teamnowalls:

nesija:

ouijubell:

hoeism-intervention:

milpool-thrillhouse:

Who would win in a bad bitch alien fight

Roger is the bad bitch of the galaxy

Okay, but Roger also can’t keep a man.

Pleackly has a man, a family, and isn’t trapped living in an attic. And to top it off - see those two tongues? Roger wishes he could.

oh… the tea is hot

this post has brought me nothing but suffering since it has entered my life

Welcome to Tumblr where we discus cartoons skills to do things…

loungin: illmaticraj: chleopatrapaige: glassofcoldjuice: ru...

Thu, 29 Jun 2017 08:28:15 -0400

loungin:

illmaticraj:

chleopatrapaige:

glassofcoldjuice:

ruinedchildhood:

“Cereal maker Post Holdings confirmed this week that it would bring back the popular Oreo O’s children’s cereal, which initially debuted in 1998 and was on store shelves for a nearly decade-long run before disappearing in 2007. Post says that Oreo O’s will initially be sold in Walmart starting June 23, with the big box giant enjoying an exclusive for three months.”

MY LIFE IS COMPLETE

YOOOOOOOOOOO FINALLY

So I can have this and French toast crunch on my shelf side by side again?

My first thought was “do not let the guy who hates Oreos see this” ten I went trough the comments and saw all of the other people saying that. And I just kinda had to look out of the window for 5 minutes and just think about it

johnlockshire: thelostsmiles: xthismeanswar: one-lastmiracle: ...

Mon, 26 Jun 2017 13:05:04 -0400

johnlockshire:

thelostsmiles:

xthismeanswar:

one-lastmiracle:

a-cumberbatch-of-cookies:

spookynerdwp:

keep-it-ugly-punk:

hitrecordjose:

owl-outside-chris-house:

vickified:

hijackieee:

“If a clock could count down to the moment you meet your soul mate, would you want to know?”

omg yes

lol yes, so then i can shave.

Because I’m a morbid asshole this is what I began thinking of:

You look at it nearly every day. It’s still up there, years away in fact, and that’s fine. But sometimes you watch it. You watch the number tick away and you wonder and you dream and you try not to expect too much because you know no matter what it’ll be perfect. One a year when it becomes the exact future anniversary you watch it and count down to 0 and get giddy. Only ten more years. Only seven more years. Only four more years.

Then one day you wake up. You stretch. You smile. You check. Just because. And something is wrong. All the numbers say 0. Something horrible has happened.

They’re dead.

but why

why would you post something like that

Oh, god, I’m going to end up writing a -

fuck. Sorry.

—

From the day Sherlock could count, the clock on his wrist had confused him.

“But what does it do?” he asked his mother disdainfully. “What is it’s purpose?”

His mother just smiled down at him and rubbed over the spot on her own wrist. Sherlock could see that it was down to all zeros. Time had run out, but he didn’t know what it was timing. She crouched down next to him and took his wrist in her hand, glancing down at it for a moment.

“One day,” she said, “you’re going to meet someone. The most important person you’ve ever met. Then, the clock will say zero.”

“It’s counting down to the day I meet someone?” Sherlock questioned. His tone was near disgusted. “That’s ridiculous. What’s the point of that? And don’t say I’m too young to understand. That doesn’t work.”

She shook her head and repeated, “the most important person you’ve ever met, Sherlock.”

“I don’t like people,” Sherlock said adamantly. “They’re annoying.”

She stood back up and ruffled his hair fondly, ignoring his huffs of protest. “You’ll understand, when it happens,” she assured, walking away. Sherlock frowned at the floor and stomped off to the sitting room to read, angry that his mother wouldn’t give him a straightforward explanation.

Later on, as he managed his way through boredom and bullies and endless hours of school, he started hearing more about it. Excited quips from girls, squealing and showing each other their wrists. He would sneak around and listen, struggling through their annoying giggles long enough to finally hear; the timer counting down to the day you’d meet the most important person you’d ever meet. Your soul mate.

The words made him cringe in digust. The fact that he even had a working timer was horrid; it meant he’d end up meeting someone he would be deigned to remain with for the rest of his life. How could someone stand a single person for such a long amount of time?

The time on his wrist, by age ten, still read over 40 years.

—

John spent more time than he liked to admit thinking about what his soul mate would be like.

What colour is their hair? What are their interests? Do they like sports, or do they prefer to read? What do they do? What’ll they think of me?

The final question, he knew, was ridiculous; they’d love him, just as he’d love them. That was how it worked. The question was always nagging at his mind, though.

He was something of a romantic, you could say. He liked the idea of lying around with someone, cuddling with them on cold days and teasing, flirting like no one else mattered.

He hadn’t even met his soul mate and he was enamoured of them.

The time on his wrist read 30 years on his first day of medical school, and he wondered why he was one of the few who had to wait so long. He continually told himself it would be worth it, eventually.

—

It was the first proper case Lestrade had actually, legitimately, asked Sherlock to come to, and he was being harassed about his timer.

“For god’s sake!” he shouted, practically ripping his sleeve as he tugged it back down. “Yes, I do have one, yes, it is functioning!”

Anderson was sneering at him from a distance and Sherlock had half a mind to chin him right then.

“Jesus, calm down, Sherlock!” Lestrade exclaimed, holding his hands up defensively. “It’s just - you know, a surprise. For you.”

“Not like I ruddy well control whether or not I have one,” the detective hissed, absentmindedly rubbing his wrist.

The rest of the people in the room glanced around awkwardly, hands unconsciously touching the marks on their own arms. Lestrade kept eyeing Sherlock in a way he believed to be inconspicuous until Sherlock finally snapped and remarked, “is it proof enough?”

“Proof of what?” Lestrade questioned, confused.

“Proof enough for you and your team that I’m a human being, even if I’d rather not be.”

Lestrade expression fell and he looked away, internally upset with himself. “How much time is left?”

“What’s it your business?” Sherlock muttered.

The time had jumped from ten years to twenty yesterday afternoon, and he berated himself for feeling anything by it.

—

Burning.

It was the only word present in John’s mind. Bloody accurate in so many senses. Burning desert sun, burning bullet embedded in his shoulder, burning ground against his back, burning throat as he let out strangled cries and raggedly inhaled dust.

Pain nearly covered it, but burning was more specific.

On top of the searing in his shoulder (searing worked pretty well, too), there was a hard throbbing in his right wrist, and he could see behind his eyes that the number of days until he met his soul mate were spinning rapidly, counting down.

Hell, maybe they’re dead, too, he thought. The burning sun became blotched out with black spots and John was lost to the world, writhing in the dirt unconsciously.

—

Sherlock’s eyes snapped open and he cried out in surprise, gripping his arm and working his jaw through an unexpected throb of pain. That… Definitely didn’t feel right.

He did a once-over of his arm and found nothing wrong until his eyes passed over his wrist. The numbers all read zero in dark red font and Sherlock’s expression faltered.

Just the day before they’d read four years, nine months. Something had gone wrong.

—

John’s eyes flew back open and he wheezed, trying to work against the pain in his lungs as he scraped along for air.

Broken ribs, his mind supplied. You’ve just had a heart attack, too. Don’t forget the bullet wound, of course. Sorry, you were thinking about your soul mate? Good bloody luck.

If he’d had enough oxygen, John would’ve shouted for it to shut up. He could feel hands working on him, inexperienced and trembling, moving too fast, too shoddy.

“Stay with me, mate,” the soldier begged. “God help us.”

—

Sherlock watched as the numbers started re-appearing.

1 day, 2 days. 3. 4. 5. 6.

They jumped back down to zero and his stomach flipped. They started over.

… 10, 12, 15, 22.

0.

7, 17, 20.

The detective growled in frustration and rubbed his thumb hard over the mark.

“Make up your mind!” he shouted at it, watching as it climbed to 30 and dropped again. Every time it hit zero, he’d feel a stab of pain in his chest, a heavy weight on his heart.

The number rose once more and stopped at sixty-eight days.

If he felt a swell of warmth and relief, he dismissed it.

—

“John Watson!”

Since returning home, John had stopped checking his wrist. There’d been too much distraction; teary visits from his mum and tense ones from Harry. Trying to find somewhere to stay while he was healing and until he could find a job of some kind.

“I heard you were abroad somewhere, getting shot at! What happened?”

“… I got shot.”

There was something nagging at the back of his head, but he couldn’t place it. He felt different - almost better.

“Come on - who’d want me for a flatmate?”

It wasn’t until he stepped in the door of that lab.

“Mike, can I borrow your phone? There’s no signal on mine.”

John snapped his gaze up and his right hand clenched around the head of his cane. That voice; that gorgeous baritone sent a chill down his spine and made his chest feel like it was inflating.

“Ah - here. Use mine,” he offered breathlessly. Sherlock met his gaze and something flickered over his expression. His eyes darted down to his wrist and he lifted his sleeve just a centimetre - enough to make his breath hitch.

“Mike, give us a moment,” he ordered. Mike eyed them, back and forth, before complying and standing to walk out.

“Be back in ten minutes, mate, I ought to go check on something anyhow,” he said to John before he walked out. Sherlock stood as soon as the door shut and strode over to John, looming over him so close that John had to take a step backwards.

“Does it read zero?” Sherlock hissed. “Plain, grey zero?”

John wet his lips and sputtered a moment. Sherlock rolled his eyes and snatched the cane from John’s hand, taking his arm in the other and shoving up his sleeve.

0000d 00h 00m 00s

“Afghanistan or Iraq?” Sherlock demanded.

“What?” John asked, bewildered.

“Answer the question; Afghanistan or Iraq?”

“Afghanistan,” John managed. “How did you - “

“You were shot. You died, went into cardiac arrest, four times,” Sherlock said.

“How do you know this?” John asked.

Sherlock released John’s arm roughly and undid the cuff on his right arm, holding it out for John to see. The doctor ran a finger over it gingerly, then encircled Sherlock’s wrist with his hand. “Did you know,” Sherlock murmured, “if your soul mate - ” he said the word like it was filthy, but his gaze was still soft ” - dies, you can feel it? It shows up red on your wrist and it physically pains you.”

John swallowed and smiled tightly. “To be quite fair, I think the bullet hurt worse,” he quipped.

“What’s your name?” Sherlock asked.

“John Watson.”

“Sherlock Holmes.”

The two stared at each other in a haze, eyes scanning over each other’s faces like they were committing them to memory.

“You’re looking for a flatmate?” John inquired eventually, softly.

“Not anymore.”

Sherlock grinned and John grinned back, sliding his hand from Sherlock’s wrist to link their fingers together.

“Brilliant.”

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